LOOK MY WAY

You ask what is the problem. I wish I could tell you. We are tight, friends and may be much more. I am not complaining but that is where my problem begins. You see a friend in me, I see the man for me. You hold my hand just to get cheeky, I hold yours just to steal a moment of bliss. When you ask who I have in mind for a lover, I can't help looking away and coldly saying 'no one'. You want your texts replied just so we can chat, I reply each just because it is what I want us to do. Staying up worried about where you are and when you finally come a little lie about studying. We are so tight we don't do the simplest of greetings when in my heart I long for a long hug and a firm kiss every time I see you. You look for a date to the prom and I sit there and watch you wondering if you'll ever consider taking me. I know so well your type, but your type and I do not match one single bit. I listen to you all day whine about being friend zoned by a chic you totally dig and I can't help but wonder if you know that you do the same for me. You think am nice and pretty, I want you to feel I could make a nice girlfriend and a pretty spouse. You look deep into my eyes, if only you'd look at me with the other eye. I see how they flock around you, I see how happy you feel around her. I can tell the rate of your heart beat from the lust in your eyes every time she comes around. A tiny winy jealousy creeps up my throat but I remember, I am your friend, I gotta be happy for you. It is not that I have not learned harsh lessons before, just that the heart cannot deny what it desires. I could lie awake all night, just to watch how peacefully you wander into dreamland. Don't ask me who I like, because I can't answer it. I pray so hard that it is an infatuation, that it will fade or slip away eventually and hopefully soon. I love you and I love to see you happy, the reason why, I stick around to be the friend you always needed. As I watch each day the sun rise on your face, I stand some distance away, far enough not to step.on you but close enough to get to ehen you need me. I watch in sweet joy of despair as I hope you Look My Way before it all fades away.

Fall, but Bounce Back Twice Stronger

Amidst the fog a ray penetrates to warm up the ambience of the dull morning. The cold wraps her dark silk skin as she slips out of her covers. She tossed and turned all night but she would not mind one more hour in bed. Last night’s scenes still flashed through her mind as if she played a movie trailer in her head. She did not even notice how many times she cursed beneath her breath; she couldn’t even keep count of how many times she sighed every time she thought her life over. Bree, just like every other woman fell in love and thought it would last. Lost in a fairy tale hoping that Disney was real, her whole world crushed right in front of her eyes as she watched the man of her dreams, cuddle, tangle, fondle and passionately kiss the breath out of her best friend’s lungs. Was she the fool, was her boyfriend just a jerk or was her best friend the traitor?

In life, we meet all kinds of people. We have all come across that one person that hardly trusts a single soul. Once bitten, two million times shy. The heart is a slow student who never learns any lessons from love but when the student finally gets to understand the love algebra, she is bound to confront it or fear and hide from it. For this reason, victims of betrayal build walls around them, high enough that no one can peep and strong enough that it takes a lot too much to bring it down. Behind these walls are assured safety, untainted air and loneliness; so that there is a vacuum that can only be filled by replant forces.